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  • William Shakespeare: Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act II

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Act IIScene IMilan. The Duke’s palaceEnter Valentine and SpeedSpeedSir, your glove.ValentineNot mine; my gloves are on.SpeedWhy, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.ValentineHa! let me see: ay, give it me, it’s mine: Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! Ah, Silvia, Silvia!SpeedMadam Silvia! Madam Silvia!ValentineHow now, sirrah?SpeedShe is not within hearing, sir.ValentineWhy, sir, who bade you call her?SpeedYour worship, sir; or else I mistook.ValentineWell, you’ll still be too forward.SpeedAnd yet I was last chidden for being too slow.ValentineGo to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?SpeedShe that your worship loves?ValentineWhy, how know you that I am in love?SpeedMarry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.ValentineAre all these things perceived in me?SpeedThey are all perceived without ye.ValentineWithout me? they cannot.SpeedWithout you? nay, that’s certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.ValentineBut tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?SpeedShe that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?ValentineHast thou observed that? even she, I mean.SpeedWhy, sir, I know her not.ValentineDost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?SpeedIs she not hard-favoured, sir?ValentineNot so fair, boy, as well-favoured.SpeedSir, I know that well enough.ValentineWhat dost thou know?SpeedThat she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.ValentineI mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.SpeedThat’s because the one is painted and the other out of all count.ValentineHow painted? and how out of count?SpeedMarry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.ValentineHow esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.SpeedYou never saw her since she was deformed.ValentineHow long hath she been deformed?SpeedEver since you loved her.ValentineI have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.SpeedIf you love her, you cannot see her.ValentineWhy?SpeedBecause Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!ValentineWhat should I see then?SpeedYour own present folly and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.ValentineBelike, boy, then, you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.SpeedTrue, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.ValentineIn conclusion, I stand affected to her.SpeedI would you were set, so your affection would cease.ValentineLast night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.SpeedAnd have you?ValentineI have.SpeedAre they not lamely writ?ValentineNo, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace! here she comes.SpeedAsideO excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.Enter SilviaValentineMadam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.SpeedAsideO, give ye good even! here’s a million of manners.SilviaSir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.SpeedAsideHe should give her interest and she gives it him.ValentineAs you enjoin’d me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship.SilviaI thank you gentle servant: ’tis very clerkly done.ValentineNow trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For being ignorant to whom it goes I writ at random, very doubtfully.SilviaPerchance you think too much of so much pains?ValentineNo, madam; so it stead you, I will write Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet—SilviaA pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not; And yet take this again; and yet I thank you, Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.SpeedAsideAnd yet you will; and yet another ‘yet.‘ValentineWhat means your ladyship? do you not like it?SilviaYes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ; But since unwillingly, take them again. Nay, take them.ValentineMadam, they are for you.SilviaAy, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you; I would have had them writ more movingly.ValentinePlease you, I’ll write your ladyship another.SilviaAnd when it’s writ, for my sake read it over, And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.ValentineIf it please me, madam, what then?SilviaWhy, if it please you, take it for your labour: And so, good morrow, servant.ExitSpeedO jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple! My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. O excellent device! was there ever heard a better, That my master, being scribe, To himself should write the letter?ValentineHow now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?SpeedNay, I was rhyming: ’tis you that have the reason.ValentineTo do what?SpeedTo be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.ValentineTo whom?SpeedTo yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.ValentineWhat figure?SpeedBy a letter, I should say.ValentineWhy, she hath not writ to me?SpeedWhat need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?ValentineNo, believe me.SpeedNo believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?ValentineShe gave me none, except an angry word.SpeedWhy, she hath given you a letter.ValentineThat’s the letter I writ to her friend.SpeedAnd that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.ValentineI would it were no worse.SpeedI’ll warrant you, ’tis as well: For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply; Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover. All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’tis dinner-time.ValentineI have dined.SpeedAy, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.Exeunt

Brewer’s: Two Gentlemen of Verona

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Our Common Sources

William Shakespeare: Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act II, Scene IV

  • William Shakespeare: Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act II, Scene IV

TrendingHere are the facts and trivia that people are buzzing about.

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TrendingHere are the facts and trivia that people are buzzing about.

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Current Events This Week: January 2023

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Andersen’s Fairy Tales: Contents

The Celtic Twilight: A Teller of Tales

  • Did Birds Evolve from Dinosaurs?
  • The Twelve Dancing Princesses
  • Current Events This Week: January 2023
  • African Americans by the Numbers
  • Andersen’s Fairy Tales: Contents
  • The Celtic Twilight: A Teller of Tales