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  • William Shakespeare: Henry IV (Pt 1), Act II, Scene II

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Scene IIThe highway, near GadshillEnter Prince Henry and PoinsPoinsCome, shelter, shelter: I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.Prince HenryStand close.Enter FalstaffFalstaffPoins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!Prince HenryPeace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! what a brawling dost thou keep!FalstaffWhere’s Poins, Hal?Prince HenryHe is walked up to the top of the hill: I’ll go seek him.FalstaffI am accursed to rob in that thief’s company: the rascal hath removed my horse, and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the squier further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I ‘scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two and twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal hath not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged; it could not be else: I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! a plague upon you both! Bardolph! Peto! I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink, to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me; and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough: a plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!They whistleWhew! A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you rogues; give me my horse, and be hanged!Prince HenryPeace, ye fat-guts! lie down; lay thine ear close to the ground and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers.FalstaffHave you any levers to lift me up again, being down? ‘Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?Prince HenryThou liest; thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.FalstaffI prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.Prince HenryOut, ye rogue! shall I be your ostler?FalstaffGo, hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters! If I be ta’en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison: when a jest is so forward, and afoot too! I hate it.Enter Gadshill, Bardolph and PetoGadshillStand.FalstaffSo I do, against my will.PoinsO, ’tis our setter: I know his voice. Bardolph, what news?BardolphCase ye, case ye; on with your vizards: there ’s money of the king’s coming down the hill; ’tis going to the king’s exchequer.FalstaffYou lie, ye rogue; ’tis going to the king’s tavern.GadshillThere’s enough to make us all.FalstaffTo be hanged.Prince HenrySirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they ‘scape from your encounter, then they light on us.PetoHow many be there of them?GadshillSome eight or ten.Falstaff’Zounds, will they not rob us?Prince HenryWhat, a coward, Sir John Paunch?FalstaffIndeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal.Prince HenryWell, we leave that to the proof.PoinsSirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge: when thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.FalstaffNow cannot I strike him, if I should be hanged.Prince HenryNed, where are our disguises?PoinsHere, hard by: stand close.Exeunt Prince Henry and PoinsFalstaffNow, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I: every man to his business.Enter the TravellersFirst TravellerCome, neighbour: the boy shall lead our horses down the hill; we’ll walk afoot awhile, and ease our legs.ThievesStand!TravellersJesus bless us!FalstaffStrike; down with them; cut the villains’ throats: ah! whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves! they hate us youth: down with them: fleece them.TravellersO, we are undone, both we and ours for ever!FalstaffHang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone? No, ye fat chuffs: I would your store were here! On, bacons, on! What, ye knaves! young men must live. You are Grand-jurors, are ye? we’ll jure ye, ‘faith.Here they rob them and bind them. ExeuntRe-enter Prince Henry and PoinsPrince HenryThe thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month and a good jest for ever.PoinsStand close; I hear them coming.Enter the Thieves againFalstaffCome, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring: there’s no more valour in that Poins than in a wild-duck.Prince HenryYour money!PoinsVillains!As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them; they all run away; and Falstaff, after a blow or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind themPrince HenryGot with much ease. Now merrily to horse: The thieves are all scatter’d and possess’d with fear So strongly that they dare not meet each other; Each takes his fellow for an officer. Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death, And lards the lean earth as he walks along: Were ’t not for laughing, I should pity him.PoinsHow the rogue roar’d!Exeunt

William Shakespeare: Henry IV (Pt 1), Act II

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William Shakespeare: Henry IV (Pt 1), Act II, Scene IV

  • William Shakespeare: Henry IV (Pt 1), Act II, Scene IV

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  • Did Birds Evolve from Dinosaurs?
  • The Twelve Dancing Princesses
  • Current Events This Week: January 2023
  • African Americans by the Numbers
  • Andersen’s Fairy Tales: Contents
  • The Celtic Twilight: A Teller of Tales